sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
