please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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