you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You don't make any sense
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