It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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