i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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