we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
