Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
