She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
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