so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
