I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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