you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
