Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.