I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i drank out of a bidet.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
