Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.