i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I need to sanitize my soul.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize