Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me

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  (612): im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me http://tfl.nu/erth
  Replies (72) Good night (1026) Bad night (2410)
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  (212): View more from New York

  I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.

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  (212): I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it. http://tfl.nu/1ysm
  Replies (22) Good night (7475) Bad night (828)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis

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  (315): Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis http://tfl.nu/8w9k
  Replies (82) Good night (11246) Bad night (1623)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?

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  (709): How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship? http://tfl.nu/5n74
  Replies (33) Good night (2335) Bad night (4641)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...

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  (785): It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night... http://tfl.nu/p0ds
  Replies (25) Good night (2445) Bad night (4503)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .

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  (203): he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on . http://tfl.nu/rwb5
  Replies (9) Good night (1409) Bad night (3319)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand

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  (772): No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand http://tfl.nu/pktd
  Replies (6) Good night (691) Bad night (2551)
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  (661): View more from California

  The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.

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  (661): The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me. http://tfl.nu/fztu
  Replies (6) Good night (2187) Bad night (730)
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  (310): View more from California

  how was it?

  (1-310): View more from California

  he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"

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  (310): how was it? (1-310): he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins" http://tfl.nu/8mel
  Replies (2) Good night (1557) Bad night (672)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.

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  (519): I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future. http://tfl.nu/3f9u
  Replies (4) Good night (1314) Bad night (535)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.

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  (978): Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus. http://tfl.nu/c88k
  Replies (9) Good night (3049) Bad night (585)
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  (310): View more from California

  I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.

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  (310): I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship. http://tfl.nu/r05o
  Replies (7) Good night (1766) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.

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  (210): I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted. http://tfl.nu/x81s
  Replies (8) Good night (451) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day

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  (610): just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day http://tfl.nu/mfoa
  Replies (3) Good night (348) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.

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  (615): Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it. http://tfl.nu/lqyz
  Replies (4) Good night (317) Bad night (537)

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