Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours