Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever

(615): View more from Tennessee

She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

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(305): Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever (615): She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister http://tfl.nu/5zux

Replies (88) Good night (7792) Bad night (1408)
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(404): View more from Georgia

i may or may not be watching the land before time

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(404): i may or may not be watching the land before time http://tfl.nu/fmo5

Replies (40) Good night (7287) Bad night (885)
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(248): View more from Michigan

It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"

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(248): It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland" http://tfl.nu/fgmr

Replies (44) Good night (3940) Bad night (1379)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.

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(+44): You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery. http://tfl.nu/036p

Replies (7) Good night (1357) Bad night (2116)
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(623): View more from Arizona

He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...

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(623): He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking... http://tfl.nu/bdfz

Replies (5) Good night (2786) Bad night (788)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.

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(617): You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints. http://tfl.nu/h72d

Replies (3) Good night (1596) Bad night (738)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.

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(812): I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking. http://tfl.nu/z4xo

Replies (8) Good night (4145) Bad night (1177)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis

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(402): Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis http://tfl.nu/hhal

Replies (12) Good night (688) Bad night (1116)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?

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(780): So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends? http://tfl.nu/kqn5

Replies (5) Good night (2993) Bad night (640)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.

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(856): After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/r983

Replies (0) Good night (1687) Bad night (611)
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(970): View more from Colorado

The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night

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(970): The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night http://tfl.nu/z7c2

Replies (1) Good night (1901) Bad night (452)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.

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(202): I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school. http://tfl.nu/85a4

Replies (7) Good night (1774) Bad night (372)
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(815): View more from Illinois

One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.

(1-815): View more from Illinois

Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.

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(815): One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day. (1-815): Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar. http://tfl.nu/0cqf

Replies (8) Good night (1269) Bad night (572)
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(276): View more from Virginia

LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.

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(276): LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything. http://tfl.nu/o8kx

Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (210)
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(240): View more from Maryland

He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.

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(240): He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos. http://tfl.nu/i6so

Replies (5) Good night (387) Bad night (304)

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