Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  youve hit the jackpot

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  (540): she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out (803): youve hit the jackpot http://tfl.nu/tr3l
  Replies (50) Good night (16744) Bad night (1002)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.

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  (812): When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night. http://tfl.nu/n33w
  Replies (21) Good night (12013) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.

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  (864): We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian. http://tfl.nu/x5ta
  Replies (18) Good night (7280) Bad night (2325)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night

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  (206): buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night http://tfl.nu/bj1f
  Replies (7) Good night (3074) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.

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  (214): look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT. http://tfl.nu/esfv
  Replies (4) Good night (2825) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees

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  (+44): I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees http://tfl.nu/l68t
  Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.

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  (303): She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/lf23
  Replies (4) Good night (1446) Bad night (556)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.

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  (720): I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped. http://tfl.nu/6z5g
  Replies (4) Good night (380) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?

  (1-323): View more from California

  Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.

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  (323): Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk? (1-323): Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs. http://tfl.nu/3ikx
  Replies (2) Good night (1223) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.

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  (805): I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses. http://tfl.nu/vuhx
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

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  (615): IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME! http://tfl.nu/omc2
  Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.

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  (386): Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican. http://tfl.nu/86lr
  Replies (4) Good night (977) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.

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  (636): Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe. http://tfl.nu/xi9w
  Replies (9) Good night (272) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went

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  (424): at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went http://tfl.nu/cfyi
  Replies (0) Good night (475) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.

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  (510): JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE. http://tfl.nu/ck5w
  Replies (3) Good night (309) Bad night (163)

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