drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
