i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Randomize
