How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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