I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
