I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
