My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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