girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
