Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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