is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i will never coherently bang her
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
