I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
