I'm going to rape someone's good day.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize