I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
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