Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
