you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
