We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
