yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
