Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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