Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
