Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize