he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize