Can i not drive my cunt home
I think I am morally bankrupt
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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