Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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