Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
