so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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