It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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