Your face is a jimmy john
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
