Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
