I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
