"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize