So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Everclear isn't food dammit
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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