What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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