smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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