i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
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My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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