Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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