Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
nutella sex= disaster
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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