I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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