it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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