Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
