Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
