Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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