I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
