You can't motorboat a personality
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
third nipple confirmed
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
