it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
