i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
