I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
