He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
is wine microwaveable?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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