One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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