mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
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I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
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i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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