just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
