WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
