U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
