we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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