I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize