haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
