well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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