I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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