he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
