You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
