I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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