I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize