either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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