the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
