You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
